Relationships as Temples of Initiation

An additional assistance to overcoming the past is utilizing the breath. (The breath is very sacred because it is where spirit and matter meet.) For most of us, our past is complex so we may need to devote several days to this exercise, or spread it out over several weeks, releasing it bit by bit.

However, before we can release the past, we need to embrace it, which means going through the steps of recapitulation.

Breathing Exercise

Pick one relationship, and start with your head completely turned to the right. Place your tongue as far back behind your upper teeth as you can. As you turn your head 180 degrees to the left, blow out a negative aspect associated with that person. At the end of this step your head will be turned all the way to the left. As you move your head from the left to the right, inhale a positive insight you have gained about yourself as a result of that person. Identify another negative aspect of that relationship and repeat the process. Continue until there is nothing negative left to breathe out. We know we are finished when there is no emotional charge in us when thinking of this person.

For example, if we had a relationship with a partner who insulted and falsely accused us, and we felt we had to constantly defend ourselves, this would wear us down. Then one day we may have blown up in anger and terminated the relationship. Begin by turning your head all the way to the right and then exhale, releasing the frustration of continually having to defend yourself as you move your head to the left. Then inhale the insight you learned: a luminous being of light with a consciousness as vast as the cosmos, has nothing to defend because we are innocently having a human experience. During the next exhale, release the judgment surrounding the outburst of anger. During the next inhale, breathe in gratitude for having severed a relationship that was binding you because you weren’t allowed to be yourself. Continue this exercise until every issue surrounding this relationship is cleared.

‘How to’ hint: Another method to add to the above technique of overcoming the past, is to go into the woods and gather twigs, having each twig represent a traumatic event in your life. Start a campfire, then position your body so you are facing the south and feed them, one-by-one into the fire. As you physically release the stick, release the person or event – including your pain and emotional attachment to it – and allow Spirit to transmute it. Envision smoke carrying it away.


Our relationships are temples of initiation that bring to the surface things we haven’t overcome, prompting a clearing down to the tiniest cobweb in the most remote corner of our internal closet. The people who are closest to us: our spouses, partners, immediate family, bosses, co-workers and friends, have contracts to push us into growth. That is why there is so much friction in intimate relationships. People who are petty tyrants are gifts in disguise. Some shamanic traditions taught the initiate to find a petty tyrant if he didn’t have one in his life. It was preferred that the person be in a position of control over a portion of his life and they be exposed to him or her on a regular basis. Why are petty tyrants important? It takes practice to develop the ability to remain centered, and petty tyrants want to pull us out of our center. The petty tyrants will remain in our lives until we learn to release the past. Since these people are in our homes and work places, they are of extreme value in keeping our skills honed and to help us live impeccably every moment. In this regard, they prepare us for the unpredictable and the unpredictable prepares us for the unknown. When we become God-realized we no longer need petty tyrants in our life, but until then, it is wise to recognize their value.

Four Categories of Petty Tyrants

The first category is comprised of the tyrants who live above the law and won’t hesitate to destroy us. They will take any measures necessary to succeed, even unethical and unlawful acts, including physical violence. For example, a woman’s niece was kidnapped. Her sister’s partner was the prime suspect. The woman had befriended the alleged perpetrator and wanted to stay in friendship with him in hopes of discovering a clue that could lead to legal prosecution. The man was a sorcerer and had managed to cover his tracks and read her thoughts, while masking his own.

Dealing with these tyrants can be life threatening because they are ruthless and you could be killed. Until you are fully God-realized and in your power, it isn’t wise to associate with this type of person, so you may want to avoid this battle.

The second category of tyrants seeks to destroy us: they are willing to take high risks but they won’t resort to physical violence. These are the ones who use verbal abuse to attack at mental and emotional levels. For example, two men are competitive in business and one gains a seeming advantage. The subordinate man may start rumors in an attempt to ruin the other. He will go to great lengths to destroy his associate’s reputation: lying to clients; entering inaccurate information on important paperwork; or reporting falsehoods to the FBI.

The third category of tyrants is unintegrated. They are the ones who present a friendly face yet perform incredibly hostile acts. These are the ones who don’t take responsibility for their actions. They are generally steeped in fear. These people will be nice one minute and attack with rage the next. Their anger is like a disease that goes into remission until it thinks it is safe to come out. This type of tyrant is commonly found in the workplace and intimate relationships. The fourth category of tyrants is the chronic naggers. They think nothing is right no matter what we do or don’t do. This type of person is frequently found among family members and intimate relationships.

Freedom from Social Conditioning

The majority of what we believe and even who we think we are is a result of social conditioning. It comes in the form of identity labels and world views. It comes from our parents, society, and the culture we live in–the country, continent and the era. Within the social structure we have many groups telling us what to think and how to act: teachers, the media; entertainment industry; medical profession; financial institutions; scientists; governments; and religious organizations. It is important to release the social beliefs we accept as truth and begin to access truth independently. When we overcome these limitations, we are operating from a position of an observer, and this yields strength.

Erasing Personal Identity

Labels are limitations. If we place labels on ourselves, others will believe them, and eventually, that is what we become.

The goal is to erase all personal identity. These labels include: I am a teacher, a healer, educated, the provider for my family, a conservative, a hippie, female, an American, human, or from a particular star family. For us to have any kind of persona is counter-productive. It pulls us back into ego. The goal is to retain personal awareness, but no labels.

Identity labels dictate a specific definition and role for the one who possesses them. It is a trap because people define themselves and others by these definitions. They think they know who we are, and oftentimes, even expect us to remain in that role. In this way labels become our prison bars.

A lot of energy is wasted trying to find our identity by comparing ourselves with others. For example, he is a male; therefore, I am a female. Often we pride ourselves in “humble” labels, but this is just another form of self-identity. As Light workers, we need to diligently remove labels so we can shed the illusion of self-importance. This requires watching every step we take to see where our beliefs are stemming from. For example, you are a teacher and a woman in the classroom does something you consider “inappropriate.” The question must be asked, “What makes any action inappropriate?”, and your answer might be that it is being disrespectful to the divinity of another. Based on this criterion, you then determine that she wasn’t being disrespectful. So where did the feeling of inappropriateness come from? Did it stem from the label that you are a teacher and there is a certain protocol that should be followed?

Every time identity labels surface, stop and say, “I am all things, so why am I getting bogged down in these circumstances?” Then examine the label that is dictating your behavior.

When we become the All That Is, it is inclusive in nature. We become all things to all people as it fits the divine purpose. We may choose to wear different masks for different people. Each person may see us differently and that is appropriate because we don’t have a need to prove anything to anyone. At that point, we stop taking things personally

Erasing personal identity means we no longer define ourselves as anything. We are no longer encumbered by the weight of self-reflection, which is part of self-importance. When we eliminate identities and selfreflection, we become fluid and energy becomes more available to us.

Eliminating the labels enables us to access pure feeling and this enables us to access information from the unknown.

World Views

Most world views are based on limitation and that is the main reason why people don’t achieve greatness. The world view says: we cannot build a flying machine; we cannot energetically heal ourselves; we cannot have world peace; and we cannot use the full capacity of our brain. It also dictates that one person is better than, or more important than, another.

In accepting world views, we are taking things at face value. Several spiritual masters have delivered the message “judge not by appearances.” When we do, we fall into the trap of thinking we know and understand reality. This is arrogance because the majority of existence lies within the unknowable.

World views are overcome by not-doing. That means stepping out of the experience and observing it. We accomplish this by soaring above the situation so we can see the larger picture, like the perspective of the eagle flying high to assess all possibilities from all angles.

Using this technique of seeing with eagle vision allows us to observe the situation and carefully determine our response¬ówhether to act or not. Initially it is a form of stalling that gives us time to become clear and safeguard the impeccability of our actions. It can be used to step out of a rut. For example, your grandfather is continually combative and rude to you, and over the years he has grown to expect you to be rude in return. Instead of reacting, just observe. If you choose to engage at all, let it be the unexpected. Give him a big hug and walk out the door. He will wonder all day about your response. Or, your mother routinely nags to draw you into an argument. Next time, step out of it and say, “Do you think so? I’ll have to contemplate that one.” Eventually not-doing becomes easy because one piece of the mind remains the objective observer, while another piece engages in action.

A crucial time to utilize not-doing is when we are in battle. In a state of emergency or surprise, the tendency is to lose our objectivity and fall back on old habits, yet that will only perpetuate past patterns. With practice, not-doing leads to an inner stillness that slows mental activity and eventually helps stop the internal dialogue. Internal dialogue is the thoughts that maintain and reaffirm our world views. (This shouldn’t be confused with the critical voice of the dysfunctional inner nurturer. That is the commentator.)

A master has no conditioned view of the world because he has stepped out of it. He has become humble enough to acknowledge that the majority of the universe is incomprehensible. He is open to new truths and questions everything: Who says we will catch a cold by going outside in the winter without a coat? Does fire have to be hot? Does water have to flow downhill? Does gravity have a constant hold on me? Can I hear people’s thoughts?

If we only recognize fire’s fourth-dimensional quality, which is light, we can wash our hands in it, just the same as in water. Fire’s third-dimensional quality is heat and it burns most people because they have been programmed to think it is hot. If we go outside in the winter without a coat and do catch a cold, it happened because we believed it would. It strengthened that belief when we stepped outside and opposed the cold, rather than letting it flow through us.

The Need to Know

People are addicted to the need to know. It is a result of fearing the unknown and attempting to control the environment by labeling things so we can rationalize away anything that doesn’t fit into our existing views. Society places a lot of pressure on us to know what is going on daily in the entire world, since it is readily available via satellite dishes and the Internet. The problem is that mainstream media sources are only feeding us more limited programming. Remember, all knowledge is within us. So take the information you receive (even this information) and discern for yourself what resonates as truth.

If a peer, student or client is pressuring you for an answer, say, “I’m not accessing that information right now. I will ask to receive it soon, and when I have the answer, I will tell you.” It is okay to not know everything in every given moment. As a matter of fact, we reach a stage in the ascension process where Spirit clears the majority of knowledge and education we thought we had. We enter a state of knowing without thinking when we activate God-mind. Then we know what we need to at the right moment. When we don’t need the information, the mind is so calm and clear that it seems as if all knowledge we had is gone. At that point we have been set free from the pressure to know and the need to be right about everything.